NIAGARA, Wis. — My husband and I have been married for 50 years and are working our way toward 75. There is longevity on both sides of our families — our mothers lived relatively healthy lives into their 90s — so there is a good chance we will live long enough to celebrate that milestone. For as many adjustments as there were in the very early years of our marriage, there seems to be almost as many as we “age in place” together.

When we first met, we were opposites, but then, opposites do attract. He was always gregarious. I really appreciated that because I was quiet so never had to worry about holding up my end of the conversation. He always had something to say, and I never got tired of listening. He was funny and always made me laugh which I also appreciated because I tended to be more serious and worried about nearly everything. I was the oldest child in my family, and he was one of the rebels in the middle of his. While I followed the rules, he found a way to bend every one; his parents gave up the notion of curfews because he never observed them anyway.

But as we got better acquainted, we realized that despite all of the superficial differences, we shared a lot in common. We were both attending college and had the same major so appreciated doing a lot of the same things. We could enjoy a night out in the bars as much as an evening at a movie, a play or a concert. We both enjoyed books … although I always finished mine so got good grades on all my papers. We both came from similar backgrounds — blue-collar Democrats to the bone, although he was a lot more political than I was at the time. He was also the most respectful, polite and considerate guy I ever dated. So… he became a keeper.

We had a November wedding that took place the day after the first major blizzard of the year. It was a Catholic wedding Mass in his church in Menasha, Wis., so everything else took place in Menasha as well — 40 miles away from my home in Ripon, Wis. So, my poor mother had to drive us back and forth to the rehearsal dinner the night before on a very slippery Highway 41. The next day dawned bright and sunny so the return trip to Menasha for the actual wedding was much easier.

The weather around our wedding was a precursor to the early years of our marriage to be sure. We had so many challenges to overcome before the going got easier: college to finish, jobs to find, careers to begin, children to have and raise… roots to plant… a life to build. Through it all, the fact that we were so different really helped. There was not a challenge that presented itself that one of us could not figure out a way around and bring the other one along. And because we really cared deeply for the other, we had fun in the process despite the occasional bumpy road. Judith Viorst, a favorite humorist of mine, says it best: “Still married after all these years? No mystery. We are each other’s habit and each other’s history.”

And, as anyone who has also travelled this road as long as my husband and I, the adjustments never really stop — there are simply different adjustments. The aging process has everything to do with this particular set of challenges in later years. I have lost track of how often I tell my husband that I am glad we are the same age and encountering this phase of life together at the same time. If one of us was 10 to 15 years younger, it would be much more challenging. We help each other remember everything from medications to appointments to who that person was that we saw at the grocery store last week — you know, the woman who is married to what’s-his-name who used to work at that store we always liked to go to whenever we were in town. And, we both remember without ever saying her name! Judith Viorst wrote about this phenomenon as well in a cute little poem titled “Why Marriage Was Invented.”

“We’re on our way to the party, our speed decreased

Because we can’t remember our hostess’s name.

I say it has three syllables at least.

He says it’s like a boy’s but not the same.

I say it rhymes with ‘skirt’ and starts with ‘R.’

He says it ends with ‘a’ and not with ‘t.’

And just before we’ve finally parked the car,

In our long years together we have shared

One family and one life of joy and pain,

Not knowing that we’ve slowly been prepared

To — fifty/fifty — also share one brain.”

Of course, not all helpful suggestions are fully appreciated. We are each learning when to keep our mouths shut or our offers of assistance mute until the other one actually asks for help. It is certainly natural to want to continue to be capable and independent no matter your age. This has been a particular challenge for me because I am naturally a “helper” and he is definitely Mr. Independent. Viorst hit the nail on the head regarding this challenge in her poem, “Not Merely His Life Companion.”

“I swear that he drove through a red — not a yellow — light,

Plus he’s doing 61 in a 50-mile zone,

And he’s in the wrong lane if he plans to take a right.

I mention all this in a loving, respectful tone,

While alerting him to the fellow crossing the street,

And the fact that he’s way too close to the car ahead.

I speak in a voice so gentle, so soft, and so sweet

That he really should be ashamed of what he just said.

But as undeterred by his words as I’ve always been,

I suggest putting on the brights because of the snow,

Observe that he almost collided when he cut in,

And point out that a stop sign means stop — full stop — not slow,

And that if he makes a U-turn we’ll probably die.

But I never convey either rancor or reproach,

Hoping that one of these years he’ll be grateful that I

Am not merely his life companion but driving coach.”

Yes, our journey together has definitely been eventful and, thankfully, has not yet come to its inevitable end. And I am sure there will be many more interesting experiences to be enjoyed together … as long as he just follows my advice once in a while.

NURSING HOMES / SENIOR LIVING FACILITIES

Freeman Nursing and Rehabilitation Community

Freeman’s has resumed small group activities. Visitation is currently being allowed twice weekly with screening and COVID-19 testing required before entering the building. All precautions are still being taken to protect residents. Everyone has adjusted to this new normal; however, they are all looking forward to a great get-together when it is safe to do so.

Sunday: Church on TV, 9 a.m.; word search-check out the self-activities cart, 2 p.m.

Today: Coffee and news, 10 a.m.; lunch trivia, 11:45 a.m.; Uno, 2 p.m.; room visits, 3 p.m.

Tuesday: Coffee and news, 10 a.m.; music, 11:45 a.m.; trivia, 2 p.m.; find the items, 3 p.m.

Wednesday: Coffee and news, 10 a.m.; trivia, 11:45 a.m.; lucky 7, 2 p.m.; news flash, 3 p.m.

Thursday: Baking group, 10 a.m.; music, 11:45 a.m.; crafts/art, 1:30 p.m.; room visits, 3 p.m.

Friday: Coffee/news, 10 a.m.; trivia, 11:45 a.m.; goody cart, 2 p.m.; hair day, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Finish the song title, 10 a.m.; word search, 2 p.m.; “Antiques Roadshow,” 6 p.m.

Iron County Medical Care Facility

Sunday: Room visits, 9 a.m.; trivia, 10 a.m.; chair exercise, 11 a.m.; room visits, 12:30 p.m.; afternoon matinee with popcorn, 1:30 p.m.

Today: Memory books, 9 to 10:30 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; bonfire, 5:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Book club, 10 a.m.; Catholic Mass (video), 10 a.m.; resident council, 10:30 a.m.; travel film, 1:30 p.m.; garden club/reminisce, 2 p.m.; western movie, 6 p.m.

Wednesday: Coffee social/travel club, 10 a.m.; Ottawa picnic, 10:30 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; current events, 2 p.m.; night bingo, 6 p.m.

Thursday: Puzzler, 9:30 a.m.; bowling, 10 a.m.; Bible study, 1 p.m.; wildlife film, 1:30 p.m.; Christ United, 2 p.m.; happy hour with music, 2:30 p.m.

Friday: Crafts, 9-10:30 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; getting pretty, 1:30 p.m.; men’s club, 2 p.m.; musical movie, 6 p.m.

Saturday: ICMCF word search/room visits, 12 p.m..; geri-gym, 12:30 p.m.; social hour, 2 p.m.

The center is now open for visitation. Visitors no longer need to call in advance.

Sunday: Yahtzee, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; Flip-O, 1 p.m.; movie in the lobby, 2 p.m.

Today: Room visits, 9 a.m.; manicures, 10 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; leisure cart, 3 p.m.

Tuesday: Wet your whistle, 9 a.m.; exercise, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; porch time, 2 p.m.; leisure cart, 3 p.m.

Wednesday: Room visits, 9 a.m.; luau surprise, 10 a.m.; entertainment by Bob Larson, 2 p.m.; movie in the lobby, 3 p.m.

Thursday: Wet your whistle, 9 a.m.; craft corner, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; Flip-O, 2 p.m.; leisure cart, 3 p.m.

Friday: Wet your whistle, 9 a.m.; what’s news?, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; leisure cart, 3 p.m.

Saturday: Bowling, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; porch time, 1 p.m.; movie in the lobby, 2 p.m.

Visitation is allowed as long as all infection control guidelines are followed including wearing a mask, washing hands and social distancing. Daily scheduled activities continue to be for residents only.

Sunday: Book club, 10 a.m.; delivery of communion, 12:30 p.m.; rummage bingo, 2 p.m.

Today: Rosary/communion, 9 a.m.; “You Be the Judge,” 10 a.m.; pamper and polish, 2 p.m.

Tuesday: Rosary/communion, 9 a.m.; prayer service, 9:30 a.m.; Bob Larson, 10:15 a.m.; resident council, 2 p.m.; bingo, 2:30 p.m.

Wednesday: Rosary/communion, 9 a.m.; Protestant service, 9 a.m.; devotionals, 10 a.m.; court yard camp fire, 2 p.m.

Thursday: Crafts, 10 a.m.; Catholic Mass, 1 p.m.; jokereno, 2 p.m.; Chaplet of Divine Mercy, 3 p.m.; outing, Music in the Park with Norton and Chartier, 7 p.m.

Friday: Pictionary, 10 a.m.; happy hour, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Spelling bee, 10 a.m.; courtyard Yahtzee and lemonade.

Visitation is allowed seven days a week in designated areas only. Each visit is limited to 30 minutes and must be scheduled in advance. All visitors will be subject to health screening before entering the facility. There are no group activities at the present time.

Sunday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; Bible study, 1:30 p.m.; refreshments, 3 p.m.

Today: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; refreshments, 3 p.m.

Tuesday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; ladder ball, 2 p.m.; refreshments, 3 p.m.

Wednesday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; refreshments, 3 p.m.

Thursday: Communion with Deacon Don, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; Lutheran Bible study, 1 p.m.; Yahtzee, 2 p.m.

Friday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; music with Jim Edberg, 1:30 p.m.; refreshments, 3 p.m.

Saturday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; games and popcorn, 2 p.m.

Sunday: Phase 10, 10:30 a.m.; sensory, 2 p.m.

Today: Resident council, 10:30 a.m.; happy hour, 2 p.m.; Yahtzee, 3:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Shopping outing, 10:30 a.m.; bingo, 1:45 p.m.; cards, 3:30 p.m.; one-to-one visits, 6 p.m.

Wednesday: Cookout, 11:30 a.m.; happy hour, 2 p.m.; trivia, 6 p.m.

Thursday: Exercise, 10:30 a.m.; bingo, 1:45 p.m.; cards, 3:30 p.m.; one-to-one visits, 6 p.m.

Friday: Catholic Mass, 10:30 a.m.; movie, 2 p.m.; games, 3:30 p.m.; reminiscing, 6 p.m.

Saturday: Rosary, 10:30 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

This center remains open. The only change is that the Iron River Center will cook and deliver the meals each week.

Tuesday: Sloppy Joes, macaroni and cheese, peas, fruit and milk.

Wednesday: Chef salad, boiled egg, cottage cheese, fruit and milk.

Thursday: Spaghetti and meatballs, wax beans, garlic bread, dessert and milk.

Now open for dine-in eating Monday through Thursday — serving at noon. Friday and night meals are on hold indefinitely. Carryout meals are available. Soup and salad bar are also available. Menu for the week —

Today: Sloppy Joes, fries and baked beans.

Tuesday: Open face chicken sandwich, mashed potatoes, gravy and peas.

Wednesday: Spaghetti with meat sauce, green beans and garlic bread.

Thursday: Fish or grilled cheese sandwich, potatoes and coleslaw.

Note: All meals served with a choice of skim milk or juice and fruit.

The center is now open and is once again serving meals for dining in or takeout — call the center by 1 p.m. to make reservations or to place an order. All food is purchased from local vendors. All dinners include salad bar, homemade desserts, coffee, tea, or milk. Salad bar begins at 4:30 p.m. and dinner is served at 5 p.m. Pickup for takeout meals is 4 p.m. – call ahead and leave a message with phone number. A volunteer will deliver meals to homebound citizens only. Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Barbecue chicken with rice pilaf.

Wednesday: Kielbasa and sauerkraut with parsley boiled potatoes.

Friday meals will be delivered on Wednesdays. Home-delivered meals only — call to make arrangements. Menu for the week —

Today: Brats, potato wedges and broccoli.

Tuesday: Chicken cordon bleu, mixed vegetables and dinner roll with butter.

Wednesday: Sausage pizza, California vegetables and fruit.

Thursday: Polish sausage, sauerkraut, green beans and buttered noodles.

Friday: Tuna sandwich, potato salad and dessert.

Note: All meals include a choice of skim milk, juice, or no beverage.

For more information, call Christine McMahon at 906-774-2256.

Schedule for the week is:

Today: Spinning spools quilting, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.; Les Artistes’ art club, noon to 4 p.m.; woodcarvers, noon to 4 p.m.

Tuesday: Cards — Pinochle and cribbage, noon to 4 p.m.

Wednesday: Bingo, 1 to 4 p.m. Cards are 25 cents, with 10 games played.

Thursday: Cards — Pinochle, noon to 4 p.m.

Friday: Cards — Smear, noon to 4 p.m.

Now open for dine-in eating — call for serving times. Carryout meals also available. Menu for the week —

Today: Swedish pancakes, strawberries and sausage.

Tuesday: Polish sausage, sauerkraut, mashed potatoes and peas.

Wednesday: Spanish rice, corn and breadsticks.

Note: All meals served with skim milk or juice.

Aging and Disability Resource Center

Restrictions have lifted at some centers — see below. Menu for the week —

Today: Parmesan chicken, baked sweet potato, three-bean salad and fruit.

Tuesday: Taco salad, corn bread, salsa, lime Jell-O and pineapple.

Wednesday: Country-style ribs, sauerkraut, cheesy potatoes, peas and carrots and cookies.

Thursday: Sub sandwich with ham, turkey, cheese, lettuce and tomato, pasta salad, fruit and birthday cake.

Friday: Beer-battered fish, potato salad, baked beans and fruit.

Note: All meals served with whole grain bread, butter and milk.

RSVP for meal at 855-528-2372

Same as ADRC menu, served at noon on Wednesday only.

Florence Community Center/Town Hall

RSVP for meal at 715-528-4261

Same as ADRC menu. Open Monday through Thursday, serving at 11:30 a.m.

RSVP for meals at 715-674-2320

Same as ADRC menu, served at noon on second Thursday only. Bingo on Thursday.

Hillcrest Senior Dining Center, Aurora

RSVP for meals at 715-589-4491

Same as ADRC menu. Now open, serving at 11:30 a.m. Monday through Friday.

Now open for dine-in eating – serving at 11 a.m., salad bar available. No night meals. Carryout meals also available. Menu for the week —

Today: Chicken breast sandwich, potato wedges, carrots, fruit and milk.

Tuesday: Sloppy Joes, macaroni and cheese, peas, fruit and milk.

Wednesday: Chef salad, boiled egg, cottage cheese, fruit and milk.

Thursday: Spaghetti and meatballs, wax beans, garlic bread, dessert and milk.

The center is open, and dinner is served at noon on Monday through Thursday. Reservations are required one day in advance. Suggested donation is $4.50 for those older than 60 and $7 for those 60 and younger. Bingo played on Wednesdays. Transportation is available.

Today: Egg salad sandwich, chili and fruit dish with topping.

Tuesday: Taco bake, Mexican rice, refried beans, fresh fruit and cookie.

Wednesday: Hot roast pork with gravy, mashed potatoes, carrots and lemon bar.

Thursday: Chop suey, rice, chow mein noodles, hot applesauce and dessert bar.

Now open for dine-in eating served restaurant style beginning at 11:15 a.m. Salad bar available from 10:30 to 11 a.m. Takeout meals will remain available for pick-up from 11 to 11:30 a.m. Let staff know if you are dining in or picking up. Menu for the week —

Today: Polish sausage, sauerkraut, red potatoes and broccoli.

Tuesday: Stuffed green peppers, stewed tomatoes and baked potato.

Wednesday: Porcupine meatballs, mashed potatoes, gravy and squash.

Thursday: Cod, scalloped potatoes and green beans.

All meals include milk, juice, fruit, bread and dessert.

Mondays and Thursdays – Exercise at 10 a.m. and card bingo after the meal.

Monday through Thursday – Card game 101 from noon to 3 p.m. Call 906-563-5587 for information.

Last Monday of each month – Book club at 9 a.m.

Second Thursday of each month – Birthdays and bingo.

Now open for dine-in eating — call for serving times. Carryout meals also available. Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Sloppy Joe, potato wedges, corn and peaches.

Wednesday: Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, green beans and mixed fruit.

Thursday: Egg or tuna salad sandwich, vegetables with dip and pears.

All meals served with an option of milk, juice or no beverage.

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